The Moment Before

On aerial arts, holistic healing and second chances

Before I came to medicine, I was a professional aerial artist. I was head aerial instructor at the former Toronto Circus School, a choreographer and performer like you might see in Cirque du Soleil.

“Just as with performance, this narrative unfolds in the space in between, in the interplay between patient and doctor.”

One day, while I was on tour, word came that a friend, Carolyn, was practicing a piece for flying trapeze — an apparatus she didn’t love — when she missed her catch and fell. The way she landed caused her to break several vertebrae in her neck. She was 26, and in that instant she became a quadriplegic. Her way of using her body to communicate with the world and to experience joy in that specific form was forever lost. Carolyn also lost touch with her friends in the circus community, and I never saw her again.

I found myself imagining the moment before Carolyn’s life changed forever. For me, performance happened in the interplay between me and my audience, in the space between us. But when I had to go on stage again to perform an aerial solo, I noticed a quiet in my heart. What had once been a gift I could offer my audience to interrupt their lives with wonder and possibility suddenly seemed small and dull. I knew what I wanted: to return to the moment before Carolyn stepped off the platform.

Sometimes, when you’re seeking answers, a door opens, even when there is no path to the door. I started thinking medicine might provide answers to some of the questions I was asking. I met an orthopedic surgeon who allowed me to observe a surgery that would ultimately save a man’s life — the amputation of his leg. He was a soldier whose Jeep had hit a landmine, and the medical community had an answer to this sorrow. I felt my heart begin to open again. It would be hard, but he would get a second chance. And that’s when I knew I was going to med school.

I chose to study at RFU because it was clear from my interviews that the people considering me were receptive to who I was as a whole person and not someone they could mold into a particular shape.

I now work with patients to prevent or reverse chronic illnesses, to help them get back to the moment before their health took something vital away from them. Just as with performance, this narrative unfolds in the space in between, in the interplay between patient and doctor. And I’m here to help my patients return to the moment before, so they can rewrite their own stories.